How To Date A Married Man….And Other Bad Advice!

 If you must sleep with a married man……..then make it worth your while!

This is probably a very controversial topic and I know a lot of you will come at me with sticks, stones, cutlery etc but still, I’ve got to talk about it. You know what they say about the freedom of speech and expression lol.  Anyway, I am not endorsing sleeping with married men, of course not (but then again, I’m a supporter of whatever floats your boat but in this case, let me not mention that lol)…..anyway, the reality is that a lot of ladies out there are sleeping with married men, either knowingly or without knowledge and for those sleeping with married men, what’s the reason if not for personal gain?


OK, let me give a bit of background here…..I have never dated a married man before, even though I’ve been a side chick lol, don’t know if that counts…..but I have had friends date married men and me being the trustworthy friend that I am, was entrusted to keep these dirty little secrets. I was so good at keeping these secrets such that I was occasionally rewarded in sharing in the benefits of sleeping with these married men. I mean some of my best fine dining experiences were through these incidents – and no, I don’t just mean eating out at restaurants, I’m talking private dining at Gordon Ramsay’s London restaurant but really, that’s a story for another day. I have also witnessed first hand how my friends…..or rather friend went from being an average ZARA/Forever 21 girl to wearing Versace, Gucci etc. As a matter of fact, I witnessed my first ever Louboutin in the flesh on this girl’s feet! No lie, at that time, I had a slight headache just trying to comprehend the price!!


Okay, back on topic…….so why am I writing on this? A few days ago, a friend confided in me that one of the top managers in her workplace was interested in her. She then said, Oh Felly, he’s so good looking and I’m so into him and I’m considering giving in. At this point, I honestly thought the man in question was as single as my friend was so had to ask where the hesitation was coming from……..she then said, OH, he is married! After recovering from the shock and picking my jaw from the floor, I had to ask if she had lost her mind to even consider a married man’s advances but she went into this long story of how she was just fed up of single guys and their games and how it amounted to sleeping with them all for nothing; which hurt even more when a single man messed you around as you would have had hopes, dreams etc of a future with him. However, she conveniently forgot that there are far higher chances of having something meaningful with a single man than with somebody else’s husband!


You judgmental people are probably wondering why I am still friends with a potential homewrecker but this is the thing about friendship, you can’t just abandon it because one has decided to give into the advances of a married man, nah, that would be stupid! Personally, I’m the kind of friend who is unbothered by what you do, so long you remain loyal to me as your friend, have my back and adhere to the rules set out by the friendship manual; therefore my inability to deter my friend to abandon her missions literally had no implications on the future of our friendship. I still had to ask my friend though what was in it for her and if he was gonna help her start up her business etc and she was like, NO, I don’t intend on asking him for favours lest he thinks that I’m a prostitute! HELLO!!!!!!!!! Should you give a damn what he thinks? And for him to be married, probably happily too and to still make advances at you means that he’s willing to pay his way through, so why would you let him get away with free cookies? (Disclaimer: This is my very unpopular opinion and in case mhamha is lurking on WordPress and gets to read this, this particular post would need to come down at the speed of light…….also, I am not encouraging prostitution, it was just a thought, like a very, very random thought lol). My friend also stated that she wasn’t in it for the financial gain, however the attention and company whilst still maintaining her money, independence, time and freedom without the married man making a claim on them. Honestly, I’m vexed, I just don’t know!


In my own opinion, it makes no difference at all, if a woman decides to sleep with a married man then she must be gaining something preferably material from him because there can never be emotional gain. I mean why let the man win both ways? If he wants a mistress then let him pay for her. It makes you no prostitute as long as you’re not putting out many men at the same time in exchange for personal gain, although perhaps there could be some self-esteem, worth issues sleeping with a married man in the first instance. But really ladies, put a price on it if you decide not to hoard your goods.


Another Disclaimer: I still don’t endorse sleeping with married men. Single men can be a lot to handle but at least you’re guaranteed what you really need if you happen to find the right fish for you. Dating is hard……but the proof is in those who successfully do it to end up with the love of their lives. Wouldn’t that be nice.

Happy Saturday my blog readers (yes, you 3 people who read my blog, I greatly appreciate you 🙂


10 thoughts on “How To Date A Married Man….And Other Bad Advice!

  1. What a read, i love the honesty in it. My opinion on the matter is that treading on someone else’s marriage is playing with fire, you WILL get burnt,whether you get in it for personal gain or for attention it is fire. First of all because marriage is a Godly covenant, remember what the priest says at the wedding “What God has joined let no man destroy” That covenant is protected by God, his wife will be on her knees everyday saying Lord deal with anything that may cause stress in my marriage, and that thing will be you. Also, you may want to get married too one day, would you want to have that happen to you too? Put yourself in the wife’s shoes etc.
    He may give you all the attention you need, money too, but soon enough you will get to find out those things will never be enough and it’s also about knowing that you DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER than second best,that is not what God has in store for your life. This is my opinion on the matter and ps. I do know that you personally dont endorse it, but i hope this may help your friend and anyone else who will read this blog. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is so true Sam, marriage is a God joined covenant, sacred and holy and as such people should fear interfering! I don’t know how people do it to be honest cause I’m a super jealous person in a relationship – I just cannot share and to be date a married man whom I know goes home to his wife everyday would absolutely crush me! It takes the strong hearted to sleep with married men…….but then again, we all can’t have the same moral compass! The scariest thing is that one day you’d want a fulfilling, faithful marriage but how would that work if you were the major contributor in destroying another woman’s? Hmmm

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I think this is one of those situations where it’s each to their own opinion…..some people are OK sharing and others do it solely for the good times. I want to blame people but I can’t, dating has become increasingly hard, hopes shattered, dreams unfulfilled etc so people are now resorting to “better” options that have no obligation.


  2. Ah ah ah stop this Disclaimer business. With or without it you will be judged anyway.
    However that was a good article. There are no rules to dating or living. We do what suits us best in that moment.
    Disclaimer: I’m not supporting or objecting what isn’t under your disclaimer 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! By all means, support by objection because…..OK, MAYBE because it may be exactly how I feel on some days….but the fear of being labelled an advocate for home wrecking and my mother lurking constantly on the Internet!

      Thanks for dropping by 🙂


      1. We were talking about it last week and this elderly lady said whoever dates married man seizes to be her friend. She stood her ground. Then the hubby reminded her that her best friend did the same andd ended up marrying the guy. That was in 1986

        Well… then the defence changed course. 😂😂 she had totally forgotten about it coz it happened a long time ago.

        Time heals everything right?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Time heals it all but then sha, imagine being on the receiving end of having no husband cause side chick snatched him!!! Personally, I’m not gonna quit a friendship cause my friend decided to bed s married man, those are simply their choices and have nothing to do with me.
    To each their own choice of lifestyle.

    Liked by 1 person

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