The Morning After The Night Before.

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So it was my birthday this past Wednesday and you’d think I’d have come back to an overflowing blog with birthday messages but bloody traitors, none of you Judas Iscariots (all non-Christians please see me) even remembered to celebrate my birth with me. I will be charitable though and announce that I have turned 23 again….2 years in a row!

 

I didn’t get up to much on my actual birthday, my work colleagues brought in cake and we basically declared half the day free as there were no managers on site. We watched daytime TV till 5pm when I had to leave for a family dinner and more cake! On Thursday I went out for drinks with a few friends, but I don’t remember much……which is why I need to stop drinking completely! I did take a rather interesting quiz though with results posted below but as I am still quite hungover, my answers may be seriously flawed!

 

Rules: This simple quiz may help you answer the question, Am I an Alcoholic? Give yourself one point for every YES answer. 

 

1. Should you worry about your drinking problem only when you get hospitalised for Liver Disease?

No. Definitely not! You should start worrying when you can no longer make it to the bathroom in time or the hangover hurts so much, you have to call in sick at work and use the excuse, “something escaped from the zoo and I had to help catch it”.

2. Have you ever ordered alcohol with lunch?

I have ordered alcohol instead of lunch so the answer is No.

3. At your local bar, do they know you by the name on your driver’s license/Fake I.D? Do they know your usual drink or who to call when you pass out?

I actually don’t have a usual drink. The usual changes according to the time of the month and is in relation to payday, how broke I am and the person paying for the drinks. The answer is NO.

4. You generally hang out with drinkers at the pub, sellers at wine and liquor stores and you have bartenders and waitresses as friends?

OK. This is stupid! Who in their mid-twenties still ‘hangs out?’ I socialise and I entertain, hanging out is for teenagers. The answer is NO.

5. You’ve mastered acting sober even when you are gone with the wind?

When I am gone with the wind, I act like I’m gone with the wind! Trying to act sober requires too much effort which I could easily put towards getting even more wasted so the answer is NO.

6. You drink all week then take a day off to recuperate?

NO. I don’t drink all week but I can drink one week’s allowance of alcohol in one day then take the whole week to recuperate so the answer is NO.

7. You’re very comfortable drinking alone, whether at home or at the pub.

I never drink alone because I’m too stingy to buy my own round of alcohol. Also, technically you can never drink alone in a pub because you are surrounded by other drinkers. The answer is NO.

8. Do you drive better drunk than when sober?

Well, I have never entered a “Do you drive better drunk than sober” contest to test my driving skills so I couldn’t accurately answer this question. However, I have never had an accident driving drunk or sober so simple logic would indicate that my driving skills either when drunk or sober are very similar so NO.

9. Does your drinking make you careless of your family’s welfare?

NO. I would never put my family through risks they are unwilling to take. If I’m going to be driving with my toes when drunk or at 185mph in a 20 mph zone, I will ask them if they are willing to be in the car and I will carry out a thorough risk assessment beforehand i.e., ask if they are wearing their seat belts so the answer is NO.

10. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?

My home life is unhappy for a variety of reasons, none which include my drinking. In actual fact, drinking makes my home life seem less unhappy so the answer is NO. (BTW, what do you mean by home life? If you live with your 3 cats, does that still constitute homelife?

11. Do you drink whenever you can but occasionally decide that a sober night with your sweetheart would be cool?

This question is irrelevant because I do not have a ‘sweetheart’. I’d have to answer NO to this.

12. Is drinking affecting your reputation?

NO because for that to happen, I’d need to have a reputation in the first place. I was either born without a reputation or I have managed to completely tarnish it into non-existence so the answer is NO.

13. Do you wish people would just mind their own business in relation to your drinking? To just stop telling you what to do?

I just wish people would mind their own business all the damn time and not just in relation to my drinking! As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t mind people all up in my drinking business if it means they will stay out of my home/work/lifestyle related business so the answer is NO.

14. Every morning you wake up with the curiosity of the night before and a headache?

Not every morning! I mean who wakes up with a headache every morning? Surely you’d have visited the hospital a long time ago or registered disabled by now? Besides, I wake up not wanting to remember the night before rather than be curious about it so the answer is NO.

15. Do you sometimes skip breakfast or lunch so that you can have enough money to spend on drinks?

NO. I earn enough money to be able to have both breakfast and lunch and still afford to go out for drinks so the answer is NO.

16. You’re always drunk and can longer handle your drink.

NO. I can definitely handle my drink! To illustrate this point more clearly, I had at least 6  cocktails on Thursday night and my sober cousin told me this morning, “You didn’t even seem drunk at all…” so the answer remains NO.

17. During arguments, do people quickly concede your point rather than risk dealing with you when you’ve gotten drunk?

People concede my points because I make so much sense, also, I am very convincing! Besides, until I have the stamina of Floyd Mayweather, I’d never be confident enough to deal with people so the answer is NO.

18. Do you drink at a certain time everyday?

If you craved a drink everyday at a certain time, it’d be pretty weird wouldn’t it? I’ve occasionally craved a drink everyday but sometimes at 7:15am, sometimes at 12:47pm and sometimes at 16:00hrs! I’m yet to crave a drink at the same time everyday so the answer remains NO.

19. Have you been in financial difficulty as a result of your drinking?

Please refer to question 15 but in case you need further clarification: I was already in financial difficulties way before I even started drinking! Also, when I have drunk all my money nearly to the point of financial difficulty, I am wise enough to put away my wallet and let someone else in the pub pay for my drinks so the answer is NO.

20. Have you ever had complete memory loss as a result of your drinking?

This is just ridiculous! I mean how would I know if I had complete memory loss if I had actually had complete memory loss? Just for the record, I have had partial memory loss like forgetting where my house is but getting the street right so the answer is NO.

21. Has your doctor ever treated you for drinking?

I have never had an illness called “Drinking” therefore never been treated for it. Is it similar to the Flu? I must remember to check that out on Google.

22. Have you ever been in a hospital or institution on account of drinking?

What do you mean by ‘institution?’ Are you referring to a school institution like a university or college or a health institution? I’ve been in a hospital and not because I was drinking but someone who had been drinking had whacked my friend with a bottle so YES, I’ve been in an institution on account on drinking, just not my own.

23. Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking when you want to, even when you keep getting drunk when you don’t mean to?

I always get drunk on purpose so NO.

24. Do you turn to lower and inferior companions when drinking?

LOL. I wish I could answer Yes to this question cause it would be really funny if my friends, who also happen to be my drinking companions ever read this. Anyway, what do you mean by ‘lower’ companions? Do you mean people poorer than me or is it a politically correct term for prostitutes? The answer is NO. I am definitely very open and adventurous when it comes to drinking and all alcohol related activities. I don’t discriminate!

25. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty sleeping?

Actually, drinking makes me sleep better! I go out on a Friday night and sleep through Saturday to Monday morning in recuperation so NO, drinking hasn’t caused me any difficulty falling asleep!

26. Has your alertness and efficiency decreased since you started drinking?

I don’t understand this question but I will endevour to answer it as best as I can. I have never been energy efficient. I do not recycle and I always dry my clothes in the tumble dryer so NO, my energy efficiency has not decreased! If you mean efficiency at work then you are better off asking my manager but in my honest opinion, I haven’t been efficient at work. The only thing stopping me from being fired is my lecherous boss so the answer is NO.

27. Are you definitely worried about your drinking as a result of this quiz?

Definitely not! If anything, I am more confident and sure of my drinking capabilities, which shall remain as were before this quiz!

 

Scoreboard: 

0-1   It is safe for you to head to the drinking cabinet/bar.

2 -3  Watch that drink and work towards getting rid of that beer belly.  

4-5    You’re most likely to be an alcoholic

6-10   Join your nearest AA meeting

10+     I’d have suggested you slit your wrists but that would be classed as “….inciting someone to commit suicide” which is a federal offense and I am unwilling to go to prison on that account.

 

So I have 1 YES and 26 NO’s! It is confirmed, contrary to what my mother, pastor and everyone thinks that I, Felly am not an alcoholic! This calls for a celebration! Anyone care to join me at the pub? The 1st 87 rounds are on me!

 

** the questions are real but the scoreboard is not**

 

 

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Lessons Worth Learning…

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Let me start with a disclaimer LOL.

I love my mother……but I will not pretend like the rest of you do that I am best friends with her. She’s just mama – not a pal, not a BFF, not a friend but just mama LOL.

Anyway, growing up, my mother taught me a lot of valuable things – lessons that were mostly practical and delivered through the use of dangerous body damaging apparatus such as my father’s leather belt, sticks and sometimes whatever was near her that she could throw at me at the time. My mother was a professional at all kinds of lessons that required torture, however, she forgot to teach me the biggest lesson of them all, Under No Circumstances Shall Thou Spit At Random Dudes, especially those hanging around the taxi ranks! I shall never forgive my mother for this oversight…..the tiny shreds of my dignity were completely made a bonfire out of as a result of this unfortunate incident.

 

“He massacred my ass  right in the middle of the shopping district. I ran like the wind towards my mother’s office with my 6 inch heels held firmly in my hands. I mean, what better place to seek sanctuary than in the arms of the woman who gave birth to me? Big mistake! He ran like a tornado and chased me right past the uniformed doorman and the revolving doors whilst still trying to kick my ass with his size 10 clad feet (who knew that men could multi-task? lol). With this random boy still in hot pursuit, I bumped into mama in the reception lobby and my mother being the strong Black woman that she is, decided to take charge of the situation. By taking charge of the situation, my mother wanted to know a) Why I was 20 minutes late for our appointment b) Why I was charging into her office shoeless and out of breathe and c) Why an obviously crazy airtime selling boy was chasing me. But the opportunity to address the situation was completely taken away from me, I did not have the chance to answer because airtime selling boy had already uttered, Ma…..I do not know this girl but can you imagine that she spat right in my face…..like I was common filth! Can you imagine that Ma? “

 

I cannot begin to describe to you what took place after those words escaped the mouth of airtime-selling boy. All I can say is that Hell hath no fury like a woman whose daughter just spat at a random stranger! She domestic-violenced my ass, right there in the reception lobby and in full view of the underpaid receptionist who had on a hairstyle she could barely afford on her wages and was clearly being sugar-daddied  by one of the senior management. It was in full view of the doorman and his weather chapped hands  that had roughed from years of opening doors for management, who were clearly not disabled but were deemed too educated to be carrying out trivia such as opening doors for themselves! For a very brief moment, mama turned to airtime-selling boy and said in her boardroom authority, Mwanangu, let me handle this…….There and then, she took off her high heels, placed her handbag on the floor and proceeded to wallop me in an expert and effortless fashion, not giving a damn about the people who had started to gather.

 

I danced the 2-step with my feet yo-yoing on the ground like I was stepping on hot coal whilst my mother was working in her expert fashion on me. The doorman tried to come to my rescue but almost got his weather chapped hands amputated by mama’s high heels which were landing on different parts of my body in quick successive fashion. I could smell death…..even the plea’s from the underpaid receptionist  were not deterring my mother from disciplining me in full public view. Next thing I knew the doorman was down on his knees, hands held high as if in surrender and crying out to my mother, Ma……please stop! She has had enough. She has learnt her lesson now. Please stop now Ma….My mother went in a bit longer and after she was satisfied the tiny shreds of dignity I had left had been completely made extinct, she ordered me to her office. I swear I could hear my mother offering the airtime-selling boy $10 for the indignity I had him suffer, which the boy unashamedly accepted! I can honestly say that was the best or worst beating of my life….depending on who you were interviewing, my mother or I.

 

Rewind 15 minutes earlier.

You see, I had met airtime-selling boy outside the taxi/bus rank as I was on my way to my mother’s office. OK. It is true that I had spat right at him, in his face  and this is exactly how I had done it – I had looked him right in the eye and had spat at him with all the force that I could fathom! But I can explain because I see you all getting judgmental……Airtime selling boy had asked for it! The boy had literally begged me to do it! As a matter of fact, his exact words had been, If you don’t fancy me like I fancy you, then spit in my face and I will know that you mean it and I won’t ever bother you when I see you get off the kombi (mini-bus). Obviously me being the obedient child that I was taught to be in Sunday School, was not comfortable with his demand but airtime-selling boy had insisted! He had even started to follow me to my mother’s office and I was pleading with him not to, as I would get in trouble with mama if she saw me with a random dude who sells airtime at the bus and taxi rank but no, the boy had insisted. Spit in my face and I will leave you alone……..Spit in m………I didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence, I turned around, looked him right in the eye and dutifully obliged!

 

Fast-forward 3 seconds later….

He massacred my ass  right in the middle of the shopping district. I ran like the wind towards my mother’s office with my 6 inch heels held firmly in my hands.

 

So, lessons learnt!

I woke up missing my mother so much so dedicated to do a throwback post to some of the classic moments we all laugh about now. I say I am nothing but my mother’s child and that is because I am. I would not change a thing about my childhood or her…..for whatever she did was in the hopes that I would mature to the amazing woman that I am today. And in case you were wondering……I WAS NOT ABUSED as a child you guys and my mother is definitely my closest friend!

Happy Monday y’all!

Home-Made Porn……Under The Influence!

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The best porn is live porn.

Me and Belinda are no longer friends. In fact, to be grammatically precise, Belinda and I are no longer friends and if you ask me, it was completely her fault LOL.  It was a good idea at first, as good as any idea formulated after a few bottles of cheap alcohol could be (actually, let me just ask…how much is a bottle of Lambrini where you stay?). It was very generous of me as her best friend to offer some practical support, for what good is emotional support in times of crisis? On consulting the Friendship Manual, my practical support extended to medical slash free porn slash a shoulder-to-lean-on kinda support – which I have happy to give by the way, for what use was I as a friend if I couldn’t provide these? All I wanted was to be there for my best friend in her time of need, the same way she had been for me over our many years of friendship.

 

I remember the day so well, Belinda and I were having a serious heart-to-heart (such a terrible, terrible idea considering how both of us were heavily under the influence of so many units of alcohol but then again, it was Belinda’s fault for starting the conversation). She said that her new boyfriend made freakish, downright strange noises during sex which sounded alien and they totally freaked her out. Concerned, I asked her exactly what she meant as my worry was already sky-high at this point. You see, my friend’s sexual well-being was just as important to me as it was to her especially with sex being such a determining factor in a relationship, I just wanted her to be getting the very best of it; so I felt it was my duty as a best friend to get to the very bottom of this problem. Still concerned, I asked Belinda if she could imitate these sounds but with her being such a bad actress, I had to ask her to stop. Anyway, still heavily under the influence, she said, wait a minute, I have a brilliant idea…….next time that we are having sex, why don’t you come and watch!?  Not exactly sure what Belinda meant, I asked how this supposedly brilliant idea was supposed to work and she was like, well, you know how I like to have sex in the dark, right? I replied Ah-Huh and she went on to say, OK……I will call him to come over right now and I will leave the door slightly ajar so that you can listen on and give me your honest opinion. I nodded eagerly, too drunk for words at this point to use common sense and the more bizarre the idea got, the more interested I became.

Let me just disclaim here real quick: I am not a pervert or a freak or a sexual deviant or anything of that sort, I was just really, really, really concerned about my best friend’s sexual being. For example, if she thought she was sexing an undercover alien, it was my duty as a best friend to allay or confirm her fears, right? After all, that is what friends are supposed to do……to be there for each other in sickness, turnup and alien sex, right? (I know y’all know I’m right LOL). Anyway, an hour later, Belinda’s boyfriend was on his way to her house and Belinda made me creep into her dark wardrobe, leaving the door slightly ajar so that I wouldn’t miss any of the Star Wars sound effects hehe.

 

I think I waited uncomfortably in the wardrobe for about 45 minutes to an hour or so for the show to begin. I was wedged between coats that had seen better days and shoes that smelled so bad, my immune system was actually slowly but very surely shutting down just from the smell. It was the most uncomfortable squatting position ever but as a good and loyal friend, I dutifully remained in squat position, numb with a cramp in my left leg, fervently praying that after this ordeal, my leg wouldn’t need to be amputated due to circulation cut off. 

Fast-Forward 10 Minutes Later….She over-performed  cause she knew I was there, he in turn underperformed because he wasn’t aware of their wardrobe audience. From the bumps, thumps and window rattling moves coming from the bed, I just knew I was in for a show to rival any porn movie ever made! 20 seconds later, the sounds began, Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiii eh eh eh eh eish eish eish  siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii maihwe yuwiiii yuwiiii siiiiiii ah ah ah. I thought hmmm, TF those sounds sounding like an owl hooting but I quickly realised that the sounds were actually coming from the bed, maybe the guy had been trying to recite the alphabet backwards but fuck mhani, them sounds were even worse than the Star Wars soundtrack! From all the Eh Eh Eh’s emanating from the bed at one point, I actually thought Belinda and her 103 kg body were trying to send the dude to an early grave, he sounded like he was gasping for air, choking in pain and not in pleasure. I thought of doing a Super-woman rescue from the wardrobe just in case this had become an emergency situation which needed immediate resuscitation but a muted Don’t Stop from the guy assured me that he delighted in that sort of thing so I didn’t move, I continued in my squatting position.

 

After a few more Yuwiii’s and eh eh eh’s and the final curtain call, I realised that I had a brand new dilemma, how the fuck was I going to exit the wardrobe if alien guy decided to spend the night? My supposed best friend had completely forgotten about me and I was starting to get really uncomfortable in the damn wardrobe! I was also realised that a trip to the hospital to get my left leg amputated due to circulation cut off was fast becoming a reality. I tried to shift around and switch position but that was so difficult considering how I was trapped in a closet full of smelly shoes and God knows what else. It also didn’t help that the alcohol was starting to wear off and I was starting to feel really sick so I debated the worst – to vomit on Belinda’s smelly  shoes or to make an exit from my hiding place and then have a lot of explaining to Mr Alien sounds but I didn’t have to wonder for long, that decision was completely taken away from me. I am not too sure what exactly took place……..if Belinda and I were still friends, maybe she would have clarified the correct version of events…….But I do remember something brushing against my neck, it must have been a coat or a belt or a scarf but my intoxicated mind immediately thought Black Mamba!! I let out a blood curdling scream and tumbled out of the wardrobe! I think I heard someone from the bed call out, Who the fuck is that…but I can’t be exactly sure. All I know is that there was a snake in the wardrobe and that I had to abandon my squatting position pronto! I didn’t wait around to explain to Mr Alien sounds, I mean how could I? I bolted out of the wardrobe and the house, leaving Belinda with a few notes of Usher’s “These are my confessions…” to sing.

 

What happened after I never really found out. Like I said, Belinda and I are no longer friends! She phoned me a couple of times begging that I call her boyfriend, who she was now referring to as the love of her love, man of her dreams, soul-mate etc. *side note* Does anybody else think Belinda has a serious case of amnesia? I mean was it not just yesterday that she had referred to this guy as alien guy who made freakish sounds during sex and she was getting ready to dump him? Anyway, Belinda demanded that a) I call her boyfriend and b) I state that it had been all my plan and that she didn’t know that I had been hiding in the wardrobe! Now I can and will do a lot of shit of a friend, lend you £100 here and there, call in sick for you at work so that we can hit the clubs but I will not take a bullet for someone else so I flatly refused, stating that a) It had not been my fault and I hadn’t planned it and b) She damn well knew that I was in that wardrobe! Belinda wasn’t having this so she hurled a lot of abuse and I hurled my own abuse…….the phone was slammed down and that’s when I realised that Belinda and I were no longer friends. It’s been over 3 years now since this incident and I have done a lot of growing up since but sometimes I wonder what I was ever doing being an extra in a home-made porn movie!  I also live in constant fear of mama ever finding out the real reason Belinda and I are no longer friends. I guess the worst porn is live porn if you’re hiding in someone’s closet to watch it.

 

I hope the 3 people who read this blog are having an amazing week! I’m currently counting down the days to pay day……..and today it’s just 12!!!!! 

 

 

 

 

 

Hook-Ups, Wahala and Other Misfortunes….

Only a Fool Breaks His Own Heart….

I have never considered myself to be completely/absolutely, undeniably stupid or foolish but on occasion, if asked to rate my behavior on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being extraordinarily clever and 10 being utterly stupid, I’d rate myself a 9.3 (and that’s with such leniency applied lol). Now I know I wasn’t born an idiot, I cried when the midwife slapped my bottom and I took to breastfeeding like I had read the manual so I am convinced that my transition to idiocy must have happened overnight. I must have been struck by lightening and in a flash turned from reasonably intelligent to thick, as only explains the events of my life since May this year. If there’s anything the last 3 months have taught me is that there comes a point when sharing stops being caring and becomes plain foolishness, especially when the shared thing in question is a man.

I have always had this annoying (and now I realize incredibly stupid habit) of trying to push my ex-boyfriends onto my friends. Now I have mentioned before that I remain friendly with some of my ex’s and I guess my fucked up philosophy that if he turned out to be wrong for me then he just might be right for one of my friends and in turn, it wouldn’t have been a pointless 5 months/1 year/3 years spent with him. Instead, God would be using me for a higher purpose as they wouldn’t be my flaws that would have pushed him away. Hey, I did say it’s a fucked up philosophy, I meant it LOL.

So anyway, 3 weeks ago I decided to try and force an ex of mine onto my friend. Now, this has never worked before for the obvious reasons cause who in their right mind would:

a) Want a girlfriend hooked up by their ex who may or may not have a vendetta against them?

b) Want a man who is their friend’s reject cause why else would he have been dumped if he didn’t have a million and one flaws?

c) The whole idea just screams desperation and no-one wants to be seen as desperate (even when they are really desperate lol).

But on this occasion, luck or so I thought then was on my side. A friend of a friend had been single for a considerable length of time and ex-boyfriend…..well, I didn’t know much about his love-life, I had sort of stopped taking his calls and put down his contact under my list of Back-Ups.

Anyway, friend of a friend visited my flat and I spent that evening extolling the virtues of ex-boyfriend. I lied, exaggerated and unashamedly made up stuff where I didn’t have a clue and it worked. At the end of the evening, friend of a friend was drooling, eyes watering and savoring at the thought of bagging ex-boyfriend. She asked for his number and literally called him there and then – girlfriend wasn’t taking any chances. I felt like saying, Girl, slow down but I held my breath. They spoke the entire night, the morning after and the following afternoon and it was then that I started to have slight misgivings that maybe my idea wasn’t so bright after all……but unfortunately, that horse had already bolted.

Friend of a friend kept calling me to thank me and to ask for advice tips, what he liked blah blah and a part of me wanted to sabotage the whole thing and the other part just really happy for them, after all,  it’s already been established that God was using me for a higher purpose, right? The ex on the other hand was pulling out all the stops – freshly plucked roses by next day delivery, chocolates and lingerie pick-ups, handwritten notes and little poems under pillow (via friend asked to sneak it in). I was jealous. I was starting to think that maybe our break-up had been a little too hasty, maybe I had taken him for granted and never realized all he had to offer  and now there he was, taking a friend of a friend all the way to the moon and back  when it could have been me, ME in that cockpit of that spaceship .

Friend of a friend then calls me about 2 weeks after I had first introduced them and said they were finally going to meet for their first date the following Friday. Girl was excited. She went on and on about how cool he was, how romantic  he was, how sexy his voice sounded blah blah. I listened but deep down, was screaming – I bloody dated the guy for a whole year, remember? She decides to end the call by saying, “You must have been a fool to let him go, U know? Because he seems like such an incredible guy…”

Theeeeeen……my friend calls and diplomatically asks if I could get rid of all my photos with ex-boyfriend as it wasn’t appropriate anymore, given the current circumstances. (Let me point out that I had an entire photo album full of ex-boyfriend and I on a romantic break before we parted ways. I hadn’t disposed of the album simply because a) I looked stunning in all of the pictures and b) I had so much fun on that gate-away and wasn’t about to delete memories cause she felt uncomfortable. Hell, if she was uncomfortable, she wouldn’t have agreed to date him in the first instance).

So the Friday they finally met and apparently, it didn’t go so well. My friend informed me that for some reason or another (I will not speculate lol), ex-boyfriend decided that all he wanted was to be friends blah blah. The phone calls have now nearly but all stopped. They are now no more chocolates and poems underneath her pillow and that bought sexy lingerie can now be archived. I am not gloating, best believe but I am somewhat relieved. Needless to say now, my friend and friend of a friend remain mad at me. They think I set her up or something. She phoned me and hurled all kinds of abuse and rants about him being an ass and me hooking them up. I mean, talk about being ungrateful – was she not the one a few days ago claiming I was a fool to have let him go? Bad case of Alzheimer’s if you ask me.

I hadn’t cried in a while but I cried after taking that abusive phone call. I didn’t cry cause I still loved the guy – NO, I’m currently in love with an amazing man and couldn’t have possibly wanted an ex back. I cried cause the situation was getting increasingly complicated. I cried cause I wasn’t prepared to lose friends over something so trivial. I cried cause of all the photos I had destroyed to accommodate friend of a friend being comfortable. I cried cause only a fool breaks her own heart…

But I definitely do feel sorry for friend of a friend though as I genuinely thought they had a good thing going. I hope that in time, we will all be able to laugh this incident off but never again will I attempt something as foolish as to try and yoke up my friends to an ex boyfriend.